Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
