the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize