Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
