Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
