I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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