is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i believe in u and ur pee
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
