There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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