Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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