what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
