i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
