508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
