She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
