Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
