I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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