I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she was so not down for the gang bang
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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