i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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