It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
