Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize