So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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