the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
