that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We need to rekindle our bromance
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
