It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
