He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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