just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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