dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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