he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
