He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
