Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
