Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
