I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
