"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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