im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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