Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
