I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
