I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
