So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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