No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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