After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
