I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
