I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
