You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
