just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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