I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
