And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
