Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
