Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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