she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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