I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
