every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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