D3 body, D1 cock
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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