oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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