I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
