yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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