how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
