there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize