On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize