I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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