All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize