Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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