Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just pee around me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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