i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
