If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
