He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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