erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
