u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
