spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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